Another fine dining experience...

Sitting here at the computer right now...with kleenex shoved up my nose...trying to prevent the dripping on the keyboard, well, is not the most convenient way to scrapbook the memories of my life.

But this one, I am sure, is one I will want to remember.

Somehow, last night, I came down with a raging head cold. I have been sucking cough drops, downing vitamin C, drinking orange juice, gargling with salt water...etc...in an attempt to avoid the inevitable crappy feeling I am dealing with right now.

Can't breathe. (Which I don't understand why air can't get through because every ounce of fluid in my body is able to just drip out....)

Can't taste. (I am pretty sure that this is what hell is like...never being able to taste. UGH!)

Eyes watering.

Sore throat.

Runny, red, rudolph nose. (Which is in and of itself, birth control. I'm sure the hubs loves the look!)

So....imagine being called to dinner by your sweet hubby.

He had exactly 25 minutes to eat dinner with us before leaving for the dreaded evening job. He made baked potatoes, grilled the perfect salmon, and salad. (Which, when you are sick, is sandpaper. Sorry to say I did not eat the salad tonight! Now, ice cream, I think I could do that.)

So we all ate this lovely fish dinner....each kid professing it tasted good. Even the baby hardly threw a morsel on the floor. (Which is his way of giving it a thumbs up.)

Shortly after, my hubby left for work. We all started to pitch in to clean up the mess..and while cleaning decided to give the sweet baby a few cheerios to keep him happy.

Cheerios are a staple of any 13 month-olds diet, I assure you. In fact, they like to wash down baked potato and salmon with the little donut seeds.

***And that is when the comedy started. (I can say that now, now that it is over.)

She #1: "He's choking!"

Me: "Quick, help me unbuckle his high chair."

(Baby gagging...starting to turn colors)

Me: "I can't get it unstuck."

She #1: "There...got it."

At this point, the entire brood of 8 kids was hovering around us to see if He #4 was okay.

I turned him over, began the Heimlich Maneuver, and nothing.

Me: "He is still gagging, somebody call 911, and go get the neighbor!"

(Our neighbors across the street are both nurses...I have called on them before for the exact same thing.)

He #1: "Here"...trying to take the baby away from me...and then just pounding on his back.

(Baby begins crying)

Me: "Oh there...I think you got it."

He #1: "C'mon buddy, get it out."

(Baby spits up and cries and coughs and is totally fine.)

Me: "Nevermind guys...don't get the neighbor...he is okay."

***I know. Totally scary. NOT the funny part.***

My oldest went to give him a bath, while I resumed paying bills at the computer. All of the other kids were running around doing the after dinner things they always do....

*Letting the dog in to clean up the floor.
*Fighting over who actually ate the most of their dinner.
*Tattling on the sister who still had to finish hers.
*Stalling on putting the clean laundry away.
*Spilling the box of cheerios everywhere as they returned the box to the pantry.
*Continuing to narc on the sibling that STILL had not eaten her food.
*Begging for dessert.
*Beginning to strip down to naked for the nightly bathing ritual.

...when all of a sudden..."DING,DONG"

"Is your mother home?"

Oh. Crap.

Those words never lead to a Publishers Clearinghouse Check...in fact, they are usually bad news.

Me: "I'm right here." (Walking to the door while buttoning up my pants and praising Jesus that I had showered and brushed my hair, and then remembering the stuffy, red, rudolph nose.)

"Hi, we got a 911 hang up call from this address."

Me: "Oh, I'm sorry. Our baby was choking, but he is okay now. I didn't realize that anyone had called you."

"Yes, ma'am. Is this the one who was choking." (Pointing to He #3, naked and in diaper.)

Me: "No. It was the baby. He is in the bath right now."
(Then realizing how bad that sounded....)

Me: "His big brother is giving him a bath."

"May I come in?"

Me: "Of course, come and check on him."

As I let him in, the stupid puppy went darting out the front door...as did three kids running after her.

Big, armed, scary officer heads for my dinner ravaged, cheerio covered floor kitchen...

Me: "He is back here, in the bathroom"

He followed me down my messy toy cluttered hallway, in through the master bedroom with laundry baskets on the floor, dirty laundry in a pile on the floor, and freshly peeled off laundry covering the bathroom floor...(ugh, I wanted to die)...

Me: "There he is. Son, did you call 911? Someone called 911 and hung up."

He #1: "No."

Baby: "Hi!" (cutest face ever waving wet hand from tub)

Officer talking into vest.."I have the baby here, he is fine." (Really...As if he had just nailed some suspect. It was hilarious.)

Me nervously apologizing for the mess..."Sorry about the mess, it is crazy here around dinner and bath time."

Officer: "What do you think the baby choked on?"

Me: "A cheerio. He eats them often, but one just got stuck and made him gag. I panicked because I couldn't get him unbuckled from the highchair fast enough and yelled for someone to call 911. I just didn't realize that they did. It happened very fast."

Officer: "It is always good to wait to hang up until you tell the operator that things are okay."

Me: "I agree." (Officer dorkwad...did you not hear me? I didn't know they called 911. I didn't even know WHO called 911!)

Me: "Thank you for checking on us. We are really glad you are there to do that."

Officer: "No problem. "

As I followed him out the front door, here comes my 3 year old in a diaper, my 9 year old carrying the worlds dumbest dog, my 13 year old smacking my 11 year old telling him to get out of the street with two cop cars sitting out front of my house.

Can we say, "GHET-TO?"

Me: "Oh, when I let you in our puppy took off running."

Officer: "Yeah, I bet he looks for any opportunity to escape all those kids."

Yeah. You are so funny officer Seinfeld. Now go eat a donut.

*** And as I walked back in the house and surveyed the mess...Christmas tree still up, cereal on the floor, dinner dishes everywhere, spills and splatters on the floor, and laundry...the neverending LAUNDRY...I found myself wanting to go with him.

Thinking..."Please let me go. I will do anything. Administer breathalyzers, paperwork, cuff criminals, drive the cool SUV and turn the lights on, wear the dumb vest and CB radio on my chest. Anything. And like you, I have the gift of sarcasm."

I totally wanted out of my crazy life.

Until this conversation happened...

She #3: "Mom, can I be done?" (This is the daughter who wouldn't finish her dinner.)

Me: "Just eat this piece of meat."

She #3: "I can't eat that, that is the tail."

Me, giggling: "No honey, that is not the tail."

She #4: "Fish don't have tails."

Me: "Yes they do, but not this, it is a salmon filet."

She #2: "Ooohhh, I love filet-o-fish. I haven't had that in a really long time. Can we go to McDonald's tomorrow?"

Me: "Maybe."

HA HA hA Ha HAHA Hah aha hahahaha....


And the hubby left just in time to miss all of the action fun.

The totally humiliated, seriously hot and tempting, rudolph-nosed,
Maid

Still laughing...can't wait to see CPS show up what tomorrow holds!

I am good, but GOD is awesome.

All too often I end up answering this question...

"Hi, how are you?"

like this....

"Eh, okay."

Not wanting to say what is really on my mind.

"I suck. I'm doing sucky. I hate that I suck. I hate that I don't like where I am right now. I hate that I don't like my family every minute of the day. I hate that I don't live for the little moments that everyone thinks are so great. I hate that I have a ton of weight to lose. I hate that I am getting old and wrinkly. I hate that I hurt when I wake up in the morning. I hate that we are pretty much financially ruined. I hate that we are down to one car. I am really depressed that I don't have a perfect spiritual connection with the Lord right now. I don't like that people can hurt me so easily. I don't like being one that takes things so personally. I don't like that I can still remember things that people said to me in highschool that made me feel badly about myself. I hate that my hubby and I have so much to do and never enough time. I hate that when I get to spend time with him, I am always worried about the other things I should be doing. I hate that when I am doing the other things...I hate them. (Laundry, dishes, cleaning up disgusting messes in bathrooms, looking around at the ruined dirty floors, ruined furniture from years of sharpie markers and soda spills...etc.)" And... I hate that all of these things inhibit my answer to that question from being this one....

"I'm doing great."

Really...that is what should come out of my mouth every second of every minute of the day.

"I'm doing great. God is faithful. My life is rich and full. My kids are okay. We are together. We are still loving each other between the tantrums. We have a lot of fun. We laugh a lot. We eat good food and often. We live in a place where we can step outside and walk and play and do whatever we want 9 months out of the year with no regard for terrential rains, snow, blizzards and massive bouts of humidity.....and on and on and on."

Seriously.

New years resolution employed.

That is it. That is the one to hire.

You have got the job.

Yep...you're hired!

From now on, let it be...

"I'm doing great."

Why the change of heart?

Well, it is a new year. And I don't want to resolve to do all of the things I know I will fail at yet again. Call it wisdom, call it pessimism, call it whatever you want...but I. Am. Done.

So my attitude needs to wreak of gratitude.

Gratitude that maybe I am not where I want to be physically, financially, or even geographically, but this side of heaven this is as good as it gets. My kids are healthy. For now. They are here. For now. And I pray that this post is not prophetic, but at any given moment any of it can be taken away.

Normalcy could change to living in a hospital room with a sick child. Or being whisked off to heaven myself with my own illness.

The mediocrity of my life, the hum drum laundry doing, sticky floor wiping, and the plain old repetitiveness of it all could change in an instant.

I am reminded of all of this because I have been reading blogs.

All kinds of blogs.

One linked to another. That one linked me to another, and so on. I don't even really know where I have been.

Except that a curly headed little boy named Jaymun lived and died in just a couple of short years. He breathed his last breath last year. October.

Another little baby was born on 11/11 the same year as my littlest guy. She didn't even make it to her first birthday. While I was busy celebrating my boys' birthday and watching his curly cute head of hair get filled with cake and frosting, that family was aching for the same.

Then there is Stellan. Many of you know who that is. A sweet little munchkin. Fought for his life for so long. He is doing well now. Symptom free since late last year.

Of course there is Andie Grace. We went to her funeral last April, I believe. She lived 6 weeks. Tragically died of a heart condition. She was precious. My heart still breaks for her family.

I've also read about sweet little Jonah. Who is the little brother to Gabe who died when he was just 37 weeks from the same condition that Jonah is suffering through now. Painfull blisters and skin, nail, etc...conditions his whole life. If he can get through the dressing changes and stomach the feedings. Because the blisters are internal too! And his sweet mama gets to do all of that hard work and feel his pain every day.

There is Selah recording artists' The Brooks family who lost Audrey at birth. Only got to hold her for a couple of hours. (She is expecting again...a healthy baby who she will name Charlotte in June!)

And another Selah artist, Nicole Sponberg, lost a perfectly healthy baby shortly after of SIDS at 2 months old.

Another blogger, pregnant with baby number 7, lost her firstborn in a tragedy as a car plummeted through a restaurant they were dining in several years ago. They all miss her life and the "normal" of it all still to this day.

Of course there are people I know conquering battles too. Sweet Jamie and Matt, and their son Ben. He is battling Leukemia as we speak.

Our friends little guy, Michael, spent most of 2009 in the hospital undergoing chemo for his Leukemia battle. What brave parents and brothers and sisters they all are!



These are just a few of the precious people who have inspired me recently.

Do I not get it?

When will I ever get it?

My silly prayers for things that my Lord already knows I need. My petitions for wishes and dreams, protection, and even finding lost keys. Can you even believe that our God hears each of those requests and meets them as eagerly, readily, as he does when MckMama is praying for her childs very life to be spared?

Our God is so amazing. How could I not be grateful that I am here in my home scraping gum off of the couch, wiping poop off of the carpet, and washing every article of little kid clothing that hits my floor each day? These are the moments of normalcy so many of my fellow bloggers are begging to go back to.

Lord, please continue to have mercy on me! I have been given so much...and so much more is expected of me!!

Again, I know that what is normal for me right now could be washed a way in the blink of an eye. All of it. One kid, a hubby, the whole family. Life is precious.

I just pray that I could grasp the sweet breath of every day as I live it and not wish away all of my "not so perfect" days.

My 2010 resolution is simply that.

Enjoy each and every breath this year. Gratefully acknowledging the giver. And praising the Lord, that our party of 10, has 2010, together.

So go ahead and ask me now, "How are you doing?"

"I am good but God is awesome."

Straight out of Luke 6:45b

"What you say flows from what is in your heart." (NLT)

"The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks." (NIV) Luke 6:45 (in full context)

Happy New Year!

The Maid with an overflowing heart