The Top 10 Signs that you are in need of a "Lifestyle" change...

We don't say diet...we say, "Lifestyle change."

As if that helps.

But recently, I began reflecting on this area of my life (when don't I?) and some lightbulb moments (thanks Oprah) happened to spring up. And since you can't change what you don't acknowledge (thanks Dr. Phil), I thought I might "acknowledge" all of these things here...top ten style. (Thanks David Letterman):

The Top 10 Reasons You Begin to realize your need for a Lifestyle Change:

10) You think the "Big Dress" Ruby is wearing looks comfortable.

9) You think you could rock the "naked in bed sheets" look at the Brookhaven Obesity Clinic.

8) You hate to drop things in public because that means bending your fat butt over. (And you always bring a kid with you for this reason..."honey, pick that up for mama.")

7) You contemplate having another child so that you can go another year without sucking your stomach in.

6) Even though you are the shortest person on the planet, you like the back row in pictures.

5) You no longer have to squeeze your face together when you do the "Hi, my name is chubby" joke.

4) You watch Biggest Loser for "inspiration" with tub of cookie dough and fork.

3) You have to give up your favorite pants because your thighs have herniated the fabric in the crotch.

2) You think "don't ask, don't tell" should be the new Weight Watcher slogan. (And you find that orange "hungry" character kind of cute.)

AND the number one reason it might be time to change your lifestyle.....

1) You wake up feeling as if you are being strangled by your own breasts. (Image too disturbing for blog.)



Thinking it is time for "You, on a diet." (Thanks Dr. Oz)

Honestly yours,

The ready to be made thin, Maid.