Waiting on the Lord...

I don't like the word wait. Or the word weight. But when you are 38 weeks pregnant and ready to deliver any day now...well, they are both four letter words in my book. I'm not just talking that dreaded "waiting room" experience where you sit and try to pretend like you aren't completely miffed that you are not being tended to already...and that your doctor/dentist, whoever, totally overbooked their day! I am speaking of waiting on the Lord, however, which can be just as "painful" for lack of a better word.

This has been a year of great waiting for us...waiting to see what the Lord does is such a difficult task. I have had such a hard time committing things to prayer and waiting. And waiting. And, yep, more waiting.

My husband made a job change this year that we thought would be a good one. That still remains to be seen. We are waiting for God to give us wisdom in that area. We are waiting for something awesome to happen there. "God, can you hear me?" (Me, tapping fingers impatiently.)

We tried to sell our home this past year...for a variety of reasons, all which seemed logical and seemed to line up with what we thought would be God's will for our lives. And, yep, you guessed it. We waited. To no avail, no buyer, nothing. So after 8 long months of waiting, hoping to sell and hoping to make some exciting changes...we pulled the plug on it. That was about 5 months ago, and we still sit here wondering why we didn't sell and waiting to see what God does with our home and in our current situation.

This has truly been a year of waiting. At this point, things don't look good. I'll confess. My husband is facing a decision about his very career. One that has served us well for 8 of the last 9 years. We have been truly blessed. He loves what he does, but it is becoming increasingly clear that change is coming. And I'm not talking about Obama.

As we wait for the Lord to direct us, and for that decision to be made, whatever it is, it is almost as if I can hear the second hand on the clock ticking every moment of every day. It is becoming louder and louder and ascending into what sounds like a ticking time bomb to me. Maybe it is my current physical state (uh-hem, superpregnant) that makes this seem so loud and intrusive in my life right now, but waiting for something to happen in almost every area of my life (physical, spiritual, emotional, financial) has become all-consuming.

As a woman, I need safety, security, stability, especially when a new life will be on our doorstep in a matter of days. The only comfort I have is knowing that what I can't see, God can. What I don't know, God does. But I shudder to say this out loud, and that is, I don' know how much comfort that brings me right now. God feels far away. In the waiting there is such a deafening silence.

God promises us that for those who wait upon the Lord their strength will increase. That being said, I must be getting stronger every day! LOL

In the meantime, if you believe in a sovereign God, say a prayer for this maid. It is getting harder to push my cart through the hotel these days...and you can just forget about me fluffing your pillows. You'll be lucky not to find me sleeping in them! :)

Sincerely,
The Over-"wait"-ed Maid