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Dear APS,

I am writing to you today to let you know that I think your prices suck.

If that is not eloquent enough for you, let me rephrase that.

To Whom it May Concern:

In light of the recent economic downturn, I would expect each and every one of our bill collectors and/or creditors to be making some concessions to help the general public to be able to continue use of their services. I would not expect, at this juncture, an increase in the price of said services.

I realize that we live in a desert. I also realize that in the desert it gets hot. Dang hot. But it does make it just a tad bit suspicious when we go out of town for 14 days in one of the hottest months of the year and turn up our A/C to run only when it reaches temperatures of 84 degrees. Interestingly enough, during that month...the cost of my service was more than the same month last year when we were home cranking the air conditioning 24/7. My service the following month, when we were home 24/7 was also the same price as the month we were gone.

I do believe there is some bill padding going on with your company. I don't think that even a family of 10 could possibly use $650.00 worth of electricity in one month. I believe your company to be a monopolistic and greedy corporation and if I had a choice, I would switch.

This is America, darn it, and we should have a choice. CHOICE! Bring me a choice! (And by choice, I don't mean do I want electricity or not. Hello? Desert? We have to have A/C and electricity. But were there a choice, I am pretty sure that "they" would not be charging me $650.00 for one month of service. There is no "equalizing" that.)

So, in the meantime, until said CHOICE arises, I am paying my bill under protest. I have not yet begun to fight! (Okay, maybe I have. But just know, that I am one electric bill paying APS hater.)

Wishing the sweat of a thousand camels to infest your armpits,

The Maid

PS - And on a side note, could you please get an employee that I could speak with that has a half of a brain? Oh, and that maybe speaks English. Not English as a second language? Thank you.

Disclaimer: Again, with the disclaimers. I know. I know. But here goes:
No offense intended to anyone who works for said electric company. I realize you are just doing your job. No offense to anyone who has only half a brain, I realize it is not your fault. And no offense intended if you speak English as your second language. I mean you no disrespect as I speak with you and begin speaking like you. Something strange happens to me when I am listening to other people's accents...I somehow morph into an accented individual. I am not making fun of you, really.