Okay...so for the couple of you who actually tried to figure out via my last post what may have been the real deal, here is a quick reveal for you:
The lies are:
1) Flew to Hawaii with Raul. (I know, it is not that far-fetched, right? Except for the fact that I don't have a pool.)
9) I went four days without a shower. Eeeeewww. People, come on. I can not even stand a 48 hour showerless existence! LOL
12) I lost $200,000 in the stock market. However, we have lost about $200,000 in equity in our home. Suck a duck.
15) I bought a pair of Jimmy Choo's. First of all, I wouldn't even know where to shop like that, second of all...I already have over 50 pairs of shoes...so I think my hubby would shoot me!
17) I saved enough money with coupons to pay my car payment. That would require quite a mountain of little clippings I tell you.
24) I washed my car, by hand. With 7 kids, I assure you I will never wash my car again. What do you think I birthed all of these people for anyway?
28) I started training for a marathon. Some day I would like to...as for now, my marathon will have to consist of get up, shower, clean, laundry, sleep. Sigh.
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Okay, so the funny part is...I asked my husband to figure out which ones were true and he didn't even get them all right! He actually thought I could have saved $629.00 in coupons to pay the car payment. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Interesting tid-bits about some of the truths are:
* We did have to boil water to wash dishes. Can you believe that? Why do you think I was plotting the demise of the Home Depot general manager? It took them over a month to replace a broken dishwasher (4 months old) that nearly burned my house down! The boiling water...well, what they fail to tell you between picking up the old dishwasher and bringing the new one is that in that 7 days you can't use your hot water. Oh, and that there would be water damage under the sink from them failing to close off the right lines/hoses or whatever! Do you see why I might have told an orange apron wearer that I wanted somebody's _____ on a platter? (I'm still bitter, I know. Pray for me.)
* Yes, I did find a Benadryl that tastes good. It is a melt on your tongue strip...vanilla mint. Sad, but true. At this stage of pregnancy...Benadryl is in my arsenal of OTC meds.
* I did get two pedicures in less than 30 days. I have the best mom on the planet...both were gifts from her! Woohoo! (Now if I could just find that pool boy to peel my grapes for me.)
* I did shred paperwork that for some odd reason I had saved since 1988...one of my first jobs...paystubs, tax returns etc. The sad thing is that I worked for $3.65 an hour and thought that was a great job! (My teenager is bummed that starter jobs in our area for him would only pay about $8.50 an hour. Smack. Him. Would. Ya?)
* Note to self: Shredders burn out. Quickly. I only got 9 garbage bag fulls of shredded paperwork before having to bury ours.
* I did tell a store employee that his store was yucky...disclaimer: I said worse than sucked. This is a PG blog, however, so I won't tell you what I really said! (In case you are wondering, it is a store where they have fork-lifts and orange aprons.)
* I routinely do 2-3 loads of laundry a day...more when we have excess sheets and towels to wash. So...sadly, that is a true story.
* I also, despite my disdain for the iron, did press some shirts and pants for my dear hubby this month. He has taken on a second job (yep...real estate is not cutting it lately...poor guy) and I see very little of him. Which means...I try to do more to make his life easier...and he has relaxed his standards as well...he LETS me iron for him. I truly stink at it, but I think he figures he'd rather have an imperfectly ironed shirt and another 30 minutes of sleep! LOL
* I did (tear) throw away (sniff, sniff) my favorite pants. They were warm up pants (black with red and white stripe on the sides) and they had seen me through many years and almost two whole pregnancies. Can I get some sympathetic soul to play taps for me on their bugle? I mean it was a really hard loss to grieve...one that only someone who hates to shop for clothes and who has had a "favorite" pair of pants could understand. (Have you ever loved a pair of pants so much that you would rather keep your legs crossed and wear them with holes anyway?) See. I told you. Sad.
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Thank you Betty and Happy Mommy for your educated guesses! ;) You guys were darn close!
And Betty, please don't stop liking me because I actually did steal money from my children!
Happy Mommy...well, I am sorry to burst your bubble...but I did gain 2 pounds in 30 days. My pregnancy weight gain has been 11 pounds to this point (36 weeks) because I can't eat a lot of things I would love to eat when I'm pregnant...it stinks! (Heartburn, nausea, and all of those wonderful things....see what you are not missing? LOL) Oh, and since I have enough fat stores to feed the Gosselin sextuplets, I don't think that the baby is missing out! LOL!
Love you guys! Happy Happy Weekend!
The Maid (Who cannot see her feet anymore!)
8 comments:
Yeaah! I had 5 right.
LOL...I still like you! I have "borrowed" from my kids as well!
From the sounds of it, your due date must be around the corner. When is it?
I only gained 11 pounds in my pregnancy's also, because of all those problems you mentioned. So I guess it´s like the "cup half-full".
Have a great weekend!
Oh Bex, sorry to hear about your pants. I hate losing a beloved member of my wardrobe as well.
And I just saw you two weeks ago and you look fabulous. Note to anyone reading this blog: Becky tries to make you think she is this frumpy, plain jane pregasaurus. Do not be fooled. She is a very pretty woman who looks fabulous in her final stages of her EIGHTH pregnancy. I was as big as a house with my third, I don't know how she does it.
Amen, April. My wife, Becky, is DA BOMB! She rocks, her smile is heart-warming, her eyes light up the room, her lips cry out, "Kiss Me," and I am so thankful to be so blessed to have her as my beautiful wife!
New to your blog today...what do you mean you can't use your hot water? Why? Oh god I so want a new dishwasher but if it means no hot water for a week I can surely live with mine til it dies :-)
You are so funny! The shredding stuff scared me a bit as I'm about to embark on such an adventure. Well... so I say. That may be months away.
Your comment at April's had me rolling. Boys... Before school let out for the summer my son let one rip in the car that was so noxious that I had to roll all four windows down. He was even gagging. Do you think he apologized? No. He said, "Oh I hope I can work up another one of those and let it fly when I walk by so and so in the hall!
You probably don't want to see your feet at this point in the pregnancy anyway. But then again, what do I know? I am a guy...without kids.
11 Pounds! You Rock! I gained about 50 with Daisy, and with the boys it was 13 pounds and 12 pounds, but I was over 200 pounds before I got pregnant with them and I was diabetic with them also.
OK, I would be crowned Wife of the Year if I could make a car payment with coupons. I bet hubby was sad that one wasn't true.
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