Do as I say, not as I...well, you know.

Dear friends,

I regret to inform you that my husband and I fell off of the wagon this evening and attended an R rated movie. We have a sort of unspoken policy to never see anything worse than PG-13, and rarely do we do that. I am not sure that we even own R rated movies with the exception of Passion of the Christ, if there are others, they must be buried in the back and have been forgotten about...so truly we have made this a family "rule."

Most of the time, even the previews of R rated movies are enough to turn me off, and I sit sometimes in the theater embarrassed simply at the 30 seconds of "highlights" of "those shows."
So whatever possessed us to buy tickets, popcorn, useless brown water, and sour worms and mosey over to theater number 8 for our 9:50 showing...is beyond me.

Let me just say it started out well. We were watching previews, we were licking the partially hydrogenated vegetable oil butter gunk off of our popcorn hand, (we used hand sanitizer first...remember, I'm the germaphobe), and before the movie even started I was sucking sour worms. Life was good. So good, that I dribbled about 16 of the 40 ounces of diet coke down my front (darn lids don't work at all!). Thankfully, I was already married to my date and was wearing black. (Big surprise, eh?) It was a beautiful thing.

Until the dumb movie started.

I am not going to tell you which movie, as I don't want to be totally scorned and rejected from society, but it is a fairly new release and was supposed to be a "relationship comedy." First you should know that despite being a child of God, saved by Jesus' blood, and active in my church, I am not a total prude. I can overlook a few swear words, a tiny little bit of flesh, maybe something in the way of distasteful behavior, especially for a great comedic love story, but I still sink in my seat with conviction when certain things pop up on the screen.

What certain things you ask? Well...can we say full frontal male nudity? Yuck. I had no idea. It was not just once in the first 5 minutes, but 3 times. To be honest, I was so shocked and grossed out by it, that I don't think I even tuned into the swearing. (Guess I should have checked out the pluggedinonline site before the show!)

Like I said, that was only the first five minutes. Now normally, my hubby and I would have gotten up and walked out. The only other R rated movie we can remember sitting through in the theater was Semi Pro...with Will Ferrell...(stupid movie) and the reason we watched it to the end was because my hubby and teenage son were in the movie. They were extras in Hollywood in 2007 during filming...and of course we had to see if they made it to the screen. (I'll spare you...nope, never saw them on the screen...what a waste of Reese's and popcorn.) So, we didn't walk out. We were morbidly curious. Is this what the bulk of mature, secular society does for entertainment? I mean another couple went with us to see Dodge Ball years ago and within 15 minutes, we were outta there! It was awful! So, I have witnesses...we usually check out of that kind of scene.

So, did it get better. Not really. I thought it might. But add to the FFMN, promiscuity, genital herpes talk, adultery, drug humor, creepy man-crushes, and some poking fun at married couples and religious folks, and well...it all adds up to ONE REALLY BAD MOVIE!

Here is the kicker, though, my friends...not that we (two mid 30's married adults) sat through this piece of garbage merely to eat worms and greasecorn, but that a party of four people were sitting in the row behind us with a 10 or 12 year old boy. I could not flipping believe that right behind us, was a child! Hello? CPS...where are you?

It really opened my eyes to what the world exposes their children to. My teenage son still has to have permission to see certain PG-13 shows. I have friends who pretty much would say that they adhere to the same standards and wouldn't dare see the movie themselves, let alone take their pre-pubescent son to it! And here, there is this little guy watching REALLY adult humor, REALLY adult situations, and REALLY adult language...not to mention REALLY adult NAKED.
I seriously was disturbed throughout the whole thing. I wanted to confront the lady in the bathroom after the show...I wanted to scream..."You brought your kid to this movie?" UGH! "What kind of ADULT are you?"

Then it hit me.

What kind of ADULT am I? Should I have seen that show? Should my husband?

It is like in God's word where it says that "All things are possible, but not all things are profitable." Ouch. I get it. First hand, front row, greasy popcorn, sour worms, get it.

Not profitable. That horrible movie cost us money, time, and a little piece of our spirit.
The only good to come out of it, thankfully, is that it served as a reminder...for my hubby and I to protect our time together and the things in which we participate, and to protect our children EVEN more. Keep them young and "set no unwholesome thing before their eyes."

We really do have the blueprints for every corner of our lives in God's word. It is amazing.

So kids, watch out...mom and dad are home from the theater with a vengeance...we intend to make your lives as squeaky clean as we can. Tomorrow we "clean out" the movie cabinet, rummage through your closets evicting all naked Barbies, and programming every t.v. channel to show "Little House on the Prarie" reruns.