This is going to be short...and sweet.
Sweet for me. To get it off of my chest.
If it is not so sweet for you, well move on. I mean this blog is my place to dump, so I encourage you to all sift as you read. Or leave. (In love of course.) :)
My pastor is awesome. He often says things that just resonate deeply.
He wasn't there tonight, but the one who filled in was just as great.
The message tonight was an encouragement...that when we want someone to disappear because they are bugging us...they don't fit our little mold for a perfect life or they are a nuissance in some way, we often just want to ignore them. He suggested that those are the times and the people that are screaming out for help the most. The people that need Jesus and for us to show the love of Christ the most. Awesome. True.
We do need to overlook the transgressions of others in love. Period.
But what about when those people are already Christians? Do we apply the same standards? I say absolutely. The people that we do "church" with every week, that are friends or acquaintances of ours are capable of hurting us. Often. Our pastor often jokes that he as a shepherd has experienced the painful bites from his very own sheep.
And so have I. Sheep bites. From fellow sheep. Sheep who sit under the same tutelage of the pastor/shepherd. Sometimes the bites are playful bites. You know they aren't intended to harm, but they do. (Example: "Hey, you guys just gonna keep having kids until you get your own Discovery Channel tv show?" or "Are you working on getting your own zip code?")
Yeah. Funny. Ha. Ha.
Sometimes the bites are deep. They leave marks. They leave deep wounds.
(Remember the friend post?)
But the conclusion that I have come to is something I have known for a while, but just seem to keep getting lab lessons in, is this: When you live in a fallen, sin-filled world, there is no safe place. Not even your church. There are not safe people. Sometimes you cannot even go to church and worship peacefully. The sheep are there...ready to bite.
So what has our pastor said that has left a lasting impression? Well, my husband and I have often thought about leaving our church. Starting fresh somewhere else. Joining a fellowship where we can go to church and be a little more anonymous. We can get in and worship and get out. Without the dumb comments. Without the painful memories. Without the flock that has left it's mark on us. What our pastor has said is this: "Church would be great, if it weren't for all of the imperfect people there." Oh and this..."If you find a perfect church, by all means, don't join it...you will just mess it up."
So that is where I am at right now. I love our church...it just feels like some of the people there take the joy out of it. Why does it have to be that way? Why can't people just accept you as you are...and love you...for 90 freaking minutes each week. I am not even asking them to socialize outside of church...just smile and nod, an occasional hug, and...MOVE ON.
Why do people feel like they have to point out your flaws?
Do they not know that we have a degree in that? Yessir. I know which areas I really struggle...I don't need you to point it out. I am learning about grace and forgiveness and overlooking sin...and that kindness leads to repentance...why aren't you learning that? (You biters know who you are. Not saying that any of my blog readers are biters...just throwing that out there.)
Yep. Church would be great, if it weren't for all of the people there.
PS - Don't ask what caused this post...I won't say. I am working on overlooking transgressions...duh. See how spiritual I am? (Tongue firmly planted in cheek.)
10 comments:
I think as Christians we are supposed to go to the ones who have hurt us and allow them to make it right. But Girl that doesn't always work, I know I've been there! And it might be a good idea to look into other churches, no there are no prefect churches or perfect people but if you have no joy on Sunday morning no excitement in going to church, God might have somewhere else for you.
I am really sorry that people are so insensitive!
I had a sheep say to me the other day while I was sharing how hard that it has been not getting pregnant and asking them to pray for me they said maybe God is trying to tell you something... I answered really quickly yes Wait. God is the one who led us to have a vasectomy reversal and I will not allow other people to rob us of our hope! Oh and can you please send me some of your water, I want to be pregnant like 6 months ago, they say its in the water and it sure has worked for you! HAAHAA! Have a great day!
I've seen the kind of thing you're speaking of in some churches we attended while trying to find one where we felt connected. Granted, there's times when we leave church and wonder if we made the right choice where we are now, but for the most part, I know that when the people who love us there approach us, it's with love and faith, and for them, I am grateful. But there are the one or two sheep who's comments have been hard to shake, even years after the fact, and the memory of that time taints my view of them, which probably goes against a lot of things, but gah! I can't yet help it or forgive it, I guess.
If it's weighing on your mind, it might be a good idea to just look out there and see what might work for your family.
I've felt the same way before... I remember thinking after I visited my brother's Hash Club (it's a group of runners/drinkers that tends toward the "rowdy" side) that I was much more enthusiastically and genuinely welcomed there than I ever have been at church before. What a shame, huh?
I'm sorry you were stung so badly this weekend. People often just don't realize how badly their words can be taken!
Oh boy. Been there. I would encourage you to stay where you are though and work through it. We moved on to a big church after years in a small church in another state. When our daughter ran away... even though we have served at our church and even hosted a home fellowship and know people on staff... it was three weeks before we got a call back. We were really hurt. Some relatives of friends of ours came to our house with a pastor and his wife from another church that we had never even met. We are still at the big church but it stings some. We may switch some time in the future but with all the upheaval in our family this year the last thing we needed to do is change churches and place an additional stress on our kids left at home.
I guess the only thing you can do is to not be like those people that bite.
(((HUGS)))
Becky I left you a follow up comment today. and I really do know you are a lovely blog friend who wants to help me out! Thank you for sharing your advice on my blog, people don't always agree, like you and TBM but listen if you could help one child stop having ear problems I am really glad you shared! I will do some research for myself! I am greatful for having so many blog friends with wonderful ideas and thoughts when I have questions! Thank you!
Tough...so tough.
Don't give up...just keep responding in love, as much as you can.
And love that pastor...he sounds like a great one.
((HUG)) I know EXACTLY how you feel! SHEEP bites sting! OUCH! This really made me take a closer look at how I might "bite" sometimes! I tend to do this out of "sarcasm" and my inadequate social skills due to nervousness. I was raised up by many family "biters" so God is STILL transforming me! Thanks! Oh, and I FINALLY became an official BLOGGER so I can comment on your AMAZING words of wisdom and transparency!! Now how do I become your friend? New at this stuff! It's Natalie!! Have a blessed day!
If you have received Christ, you are the spiritual seed of Abraham. (Gal. 3:29) Nothing touches you without touching His eye. Nothing bites you without Him feeling it. He sees. He knows. He acts. And, best of all, He heals.
(Excerpt from Beth Moore's study in Daniel, (chapter 3))
I can tell you right now, what caused this! A stranger many miles from you needed to hear it! :o) I am attending "church" tonight just reading your blog. Listening as you flesh out God's word and heal from injuries of others. Gosh, I hate it when it occurs in church, but even more so when it is in family. I am so thankful that God teaches us right where we are. That He takes those stings and uses them as teachable moments. Someone has hurt me incredibly deep! He continues to remind me that He - Jesus - deliberately went to the cross. For all of us on our very worst day. Grace. Mercy. Forgiveness. Compassion. Oh how very far I have to go to be made into His image! Less of me - more of Him!
Sincerely ~ A Toothless Sheep :o)
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