Facebook, Shmacebook.

Hi. I'm the Maid, and I'm a facebookaholic.

(*Hi Maid*)

I look around the room and it is eerily familiar.

There are people I know from all walks of life.

Even some people that were tagged from someone elses walk.

Oh, and then there is that girl in the corner, the one who always puts those dirty things on her wall. The one that I secretly judge and wanted to delete, but didn't. Because I was giving her "grace." (Christianese for "I wanted to see what else she would say or do so that I would have further gossip down the road.") Did I just say that? Geesh, I'm a mess. It's gonna take several meetings.

There were family members. Most of whom ignored me. All of whom bragged about their fun experiences in their real, every day lives. Experiences that I was never included in. Further proving that family is the ultimate "F" word.

Then there were the I'd better add so and so if I add so and so "friends." You know the ones. You added her because she was best friends with your other friend who is on her friend page. She friend requested you and you politely accepted. (Truth is you never really liked her, you aren't interested in her life, and if you really thought about her knowing the details of your life, you would hit delete NOW!)

Oh, and then...then there are the "groups" of friends..the ones where if you do add one, you take the whole group. And you truly don't know why. Because none of these people probably even know your kids names or your current marital status, but it's almost a morbid curiosity and an assinine set of "manners" that forces you to. (Maybe you see these people at church...you promise to get together, and NEVER do. Maybe these are people you see once a month. You fake it, and then move on.)

The friend list would not be complete without the blasts from the past. The ones who haven't heard from you or you from them in 15 years...and the thought of them seeing a current picture makes you have nightmares and has you reconsidering gastric bypass surgery.

Then there are the lurkers. Kind of like blog world, but you know they are there because you "accepted" them. They sit and watch, never speak. And in passing utter some eery comment reminding you that they are reading EVERYTHING you say.

Surprise friends are on there too. The ones that you thought you wouldn't talk to or have anything in common with...and they become your chatter buddies. They talk to you at every IM opportunity. Until you learn to turn the chat off. (Face it, sometimes you want to put some food on the stove in your Cafe' and you don't want to chat.)

Yet another sign that you are a facebookaholic. You have set real world timers for fake food. You have harvested someone elses virtual crops. You have bejeweled, farkled, Maffia-ed, and cafe'-ed yourself until you can barely find time for your own farm.

The disappointments abound on facebook. Those people that you are friends with in real life that publicly shame you or hurt you, the ones that blatantly talk to everyone BUT you on your page, and the ones who even have ignored your private messages! Oh, and the facebook giver...the one who gives pieces of flair, flowers, cocktails and Starbucks to everyone BUT you, and makes it public enough so that you know about it.

Yep, you know you are a facebookaholic when it is the first thing you want to do in the morning and the last thing you do before bedtime. When you put too much thought and stock in what is going on in the pseudo-friend world. You know that when you really find yourself liking people more or less because of one sentence blurbs scattered on the internet, that you have some real soul searching to do.

It is a painful and rude awakening. You realize that the word "friend" has been used too loosely. When you are tracking the ins and outs of 200+ people that go completely about their lives without you. When you had hopes that your connections could increase in a meaningful way with 200+ people, and yet, here...a year later...you have never sat in a "real" cafe with any of your cafe' friends!

Today, I am no longer a friend. As easy as a right click of the mouse, on a 6 letter word..."remove", did all of those friends disappear.

Today, I find myself suffering a pretty severe "friendship" hangover.

Facebook, shmacebook. How thou hast betrayed me.

(Not to mention made my house dirtier, wasted hours of my life, probably widened the girth of my computer chair-glued rear-end, and kept me away from the ONE who calls me friend.)

FaithBOOK, here I come.

"Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance (for me that is facebook), and the sin (making it an idol) which so easily entangles us (makes us judge, hurt, criticize, deal falsely), and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God." Hebrews 12:1-2

"So then, let us pursue the things which make for peace and the building up of one another." Romans 14:19

Disclaimer: I am not condemning facebook itself. For me, as many things are, it became an encumbrance. It kept me from a more righteous calling. My family, my health, my Jesus.
This post is my experience with a real problem in my life and a real and loving God who disciplines me because I belong to Him. It is painful as all discipline is, but I continue to grow in grace of the knowledge of the Lord. (2 Peter 3:18) I am grateful that He cares enough about us all to show us even in the little things. Praise God!