To be or not to be...my guest

Lately, I am in awe of Western Civilization...or the lack thereof.

I used to like to entertain. It has only been in the last couple of years that I have soured to this social outlet. It used to be my absolute joy to plan an event, make it beautiful and memorable, and to make my guests feel wonderful. I am no Martha Stewart, but I always try to outgive my guests...what they give me in time and attention, I try to meet or beat with thoughtfulness, attention to detail, and of course, yummy food.

I now officially can't stand to plan a party. No matter the type of party, I have come to the realization that my hopes and my expectations will always be dashed. People are rude. People are extremely selfish. And lastly, people can be just plain thoughtless. Why so mad, you ask? Oh, let me tell you.

I planned a joint birthday party for my son and daughter and while I don't expect everyone to drop everything and come running to one of my parties (I mean it was at a Pizza place for cryin' out loud), I do expect a reply.

As a host, you are expected to contribute:

* Food
* Drinks
* Birthday Cake
* Tokens (Should there be video games)
* Goody bag

As a guest, now this is the hard part...

* A REPLY. Hello people?

Get this, though, the RSVP is tricky...if you reply, it is generally polite if you show up.

I know, picky picky, but I like the little brats that I am paying money for and wasting good birthday cake on to actually be there. I don't care how many kids tug at me for more tokens, ask when we do cake, annoy me about opening presents, and bug me for one more goody bag...I just like the little jerks to show up.

We gave out 26 invitations (at school) for this party, and had 14 replies. Three of my son's friends were coming, and 8 or 9 of my daughters friends. Wanna know how many kids showed up? Four of my daughter's friends, and 1 (ONE) of my son's friends. (Thank heavens for our three faithful church families that are not included in that count, grandparents, and auntie...with all of us and all of our kids, it was still a big, fun group!)

So why did our peeps dog us so? Not sure. We shower everyday (usually) and we haven't been no-shows to any of their parties that I am aware of, so I don't get the poor turnout.

After pounding my brain for the answers, I have only come up with a few theories:

1) The rapture happened and I missed it.
2) The parents were in an alcoholic stupor and forgot to drag said kid to the party.
3) The daughters friends had all just watched "Mean Girls" and decided to pull a fast one.
4) There is a secret conspiracy to botch birthday party attendance, and I missed the memo.
5) The dog ate their invitation. (And they don't even have a dog.)
6) Almost the whole lot of invitation wielding second and fourth graders were abducted by aliens.
7) They just don't like us. (Possible, but c'mon not likely. We are great.)
8) It was their day to wash their hair.
9) The kids woke up that day and said, "Mommy, I'd rather clean house today. Can we skip the birthday party?"
10) People are just plain selfish and rude.

So obviously you all know which theory I am leaning towards.

I think life gets busy, people overcommit (or don't commit at all) and just decide to "skip" your event. Not thinking about the people behind the invitation. Not thinking about the money and the love that goes into "treating" your friends to a party.

I know for the most part that it is not about the gifts...because probably 90% of the time, we advertise "no gifts" on the invitations themselves so that people will come and celebrate with us and not feel pressure.

I have always felt like it was an honor to be invited to a party, any kind of party, or event. It means that the host thought of you, wanted you to share in it, and was spending time and money on entertaining you. (There are exceptions to this, however, if you over-invite people to what have come to be known as "checkbook parties" i.e. Tupperware, Pampered Chef, Jewelry, Candles, whatever...without having a social relationship with them outside of that...well, I think that is different. And borders on rude, in my opinion.)

Quick disclaimer: Within the last five years, I have made it a point to typically only try to invite people to "checkbook parties" that I have had over socially for other things. If you receive an invite from me, it is genuine...and I have had a policy of limiting myself (and thus my friends) to one or two of such parties per year for the last five years. Not only that, but I like to do it up for you all...make it more than chips and dip...really treat you special. I have always excused RSVP rudeness with those types of parties because they are not considered genuine invites by most people.

My mind has changed. A simple child's birthday party has proven to me that people either can't read, don't speak French, or just don't care.

"Repondez s'il vous plait" simply means people...respond please.

If you are coming, or if you are not coming...R.S.V.P.

If you are undecided, figure it out. I know you are waiting for a better offer, but there ain't one coming...just commit already. I want to know how much overpriced birthday loot-bag crap to buy for your spoiled, overstimulated little twerp, mmmmkay?

*Disclaimer: Lest you think I am a hypocrite, I admit I have been known to botch the RSVP myself a few times over the years, for that...I am sorry. I will gladly lead the 12 step program for all of us at the local "Y" ... but knowing you, you wouldn't show up anyway.

Oh, and for those of you who said you were coming and didn't...I gave away your loot bags. Chew on that one, party delinquent.